Care avoiders : 8 Tips to provide care to care avoiding clients

It’s common practice, family calls us and asks to provide care for parents. “But ….. my father, mother, father in law is avoiding care. In his / her eyes there is nothing wrong, nothing goes wrong and they live their lives as usual. They shop for groceries every week, they still go by car , they cook for themselves, they’re fine.” Often (starting) dementia is the case.
 

The truth is the neighbors have been doing the shopping for years now, structure is missing, they eat very irregular and poorly. The car with which that weekly errands are done? Has been sold several months ago.

The question remains for private home care. "What can your organization do in this situation?“
Parents do not want to move to a nursing home, but staying home like this is neither an option

How does private home care handle this?

We don't have all the answers. Every situation differs. We visit the client and try to assess the situation. Still, there are some general tips that can provide a guideline in these situations.

 

1. Make a start.

   If you don’t take action, there is not going to be good care. You can’t convince someone they’re in need of help, who does not understand his own situation. Think about your own situation, from now on, every morning a caregiver stands on the doorstep with the message that you are going to be helped to wash yourself. What nonsense do you think, I can do that myself! As long as the care recipient is conscious, but has no disease insight, he or she will act against care.
    

2. Let the care recepient be the person he / she used to be.

   The care recipient may not be aware of the self-care deficit, the care recipient is certainly aware of him / herself. Make sure you are sending him / her in the right direction, but allow his / hers individual decisions. Give someone the feeling that they still have control over his / her life.
    

3. Make sure of the right click between care giver and care receiver

   
   We try to make a good match between care giver and care receiver. Tell the care provider as much as possible about the past of the care recipient so there is plenty to talk about. People with dementia often have problems with short term memory while long-term memory is still functioning properly. A conversation about their past working life or family circumstances may lead to breaking the ice.
    

4. Reduce the number of care givers

   Despite the fact that care avoiders often do not know the care givers by name, there still is an acceptance on a subconscious level based on feelings. This is very important in gaining trust of the client.
    

5. Be patient.

   Someone will surely not let someone supervise their life immediately, this takes time. In private home care we have more time to help. Helping a care receiver will go step by step. There is a sense of shame and pride to overcome to allow a care giver to help.
    

6. Give structure to life

   Structure and common patterns are very important in sustaining a comfortable life. A first step is eating well and regularly. It causes someone to regain strength both physically and mentally.
    

7. Every day differs

   There is no set pattern that can be used for any care need or for every single day. Try to estimate which approach can work and which cannot. If the care receiver is restless because she / he loses grip reality , find out what works best that particular day
    

8. Keep your goal in mind

   Is there a reason why you should confront someone every day with things they can’t manage anymore? No, remember that every moment is new for some care recipients with poor short-term memory. Your goal is one's well-being and safety. This means that the caregiver will have to distract the care recipient sometimes in order to keep peace instead of continuously explaining why his or her car is no longer there.

More information about private home care here.